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Subject: Another Lottery Winner!

Let us say that you are a Journalist, and that you are working for organizations such as National Public Radio, Fox News or the British Broadcasting Corporation. You may, or may not, be good at your work, but not many people have heard of you. You are also writing a book that will probably never be published. In other words, it is not happening for you. At least, not yet.

Since you were born in Iran, you decide to go there to see if you can get it started. You are a young lady; you speak the language, so this is the move that might get you noticed. Things don't go too well at first. Your official press credentials were revoked in 2006, but you continue to work as a journalist while 'researching' a book. In other words, you're hoping to get into trouble. In January 2009, you are arrested, and your dream is about to come true. You are subsequently tried and sentenced to eight years in prison on charges of possessing a classified document. You have been convicted of being a Spy for the United States.

Your story along with your photograph is published all over the world. Your parents in televised interviews plead for leniency. The Obama Administration makes back channel moves to secure your release. The United States does not have an Embassy in Iran, so they seek help from the Austrian Embassy.

After about 90 days in prison, you are released, and you travel to Austria. Your parents join you there. Your name is Roxana Saberi, and you will soon be very famous. Even now, your Agents are working on your book deal.

They are also trying to get you on Oprah, Larry King Live, Good Morning America, Regis, The Bachelorette, Dancing with the Stars, Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, Lost, The Survivors, Jerry Springer, 60 Minutes, Ellen, The View, and a few others.

In addition, you will meet Joe the Plumber, Sarah Palen, Dick Cheney,and Ann Coulter. You will probably become the GOP Presidential Candidate in 2012. Of course, if things go as planned, you should be able to star in about 15 Commercials. Lest I forget, you will also be starring in your own movie, and you will have your own television reality show.

So, Roxana you have got it made. Now, if you will excuse me, I'm off to Iran. I just hope that they will arrest me. Please have the Austrians standing by.

 

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