KOBE, UNCLE JOHN IS CONFUSED!
I want to start this Article by apologizing to you. Last week it was inappropriate of me to offer any suggestions to you, since I did not have the information then that I have now. A lot of information has been sent to me by readers, and others have approached me in person. The first impression that most people had, and that includes me, was that you could have been nicer to your mother. It was ironic that this incident came to light in the week before Mother's Day. During this period of time, most people are buying gifts and proclaiming their everlasting love and affection for their Mothers. This is as it should be, because we owe so much to them, all of us would like for our mothers to be happy.
The first impression that most of us had was that this was a simple issue of your mother wanting to buy her a $450,000 house. It was reported that you offered to give her $250,000, and she was not amused. In addition, it appears that she had an ace in the hole. She could have some of your stuff auctioned off, and this effort would give her a lot more money, and you would not be able to stop her from doing so. She recognized that you would not be pleased, but she was willing to live with that, if she had the money from the auction.
There were many comments from those who feel that you have been very generous with your parents. There are also comments that they did not seem to realize that you are earning the money, and that you could legally keep all of it, if you chose to do so. In addition, you were dealing with family friction between your wife and your family, so that anything that you did for one would cause problems for you with the other. My sources say that you have been locked into a 17 year financial tug-of-war.
The reports are that whatever you gave to your parents was not enough for them. They wanted more, more, more, and much more. They were not counting on your generosity; they felt that there was a shared ownership of your income. So, there you were, trying to focus on winning basketball championships, when you were surrounded by domestic chaos. I don't have any facts, but I strongly suspect that you were also generous with members of your wife's family. Under the circumstances, it seems that that would be reasonable for you to do so.
It was also reported to me that you were not pleased at the careless manner in which your parents spent the money that you donated to them. It was reported to me that their attitude was that you made plenty, so to them it was easy come, and easier to go. I also heard that every encounter that you had with them led to demands for more money. So, I am told that you cut down on your visits to them, and that you did not see them sometimes for months on end. However, somehow they got their financial demands to you.
So, what I have been hearing is that your mother dared you to not give her the $450,000. You took the dare and she responded. What any of you should do now is not clear to me. It appears that they are determined to get more of your money than you are prepared to give them. That situation is not likely to change.
Your basketball career is winding down. In fact, it may already be over. This would remove about $25 million a year from your income. However, you still have considerable income from your various shoe deals and the other commercials that you are paid to do. There are also reports that you and your wife may reconcile. Regrettably, if you do, this is not likely to be a joyous occasion for either of your families.
So, try as I might, I do not see any way out of this mess for you. Do you ever think about how happy you might have been with a blue collar job? One where you earned enough money to buy a small house and that you were raising your children there? Their grandparents would be coming by to see them, and there would be an occasional sit-down dinner at your place or theirs. Oh, if it could ever be that simple again.
What should you do? I want to confess that, like you, I don't have a clue. Your parents seem to be saying that if they don't receive at least a certain amount of money from you, they will withhold their affection. You on the other hand, seem to feel that you have already given them too much, and that they did not appreciate it when you did.
Kobe, at this point, Uncle John is as sad as you are. I can only wish the best for all of you, and that isn't much help.
Wishing the best for all of you,