There is much to talk about, and each week I make a choice based on what is heavy on my heart. There is the lying, unelected George Bush, and how he needs to be put out of the White House before he does more damage to America’s economy. There is the continuing discrimination of Blacks in America and how Black America cooperates, knowingly and unknowingly, to maintain the system of discrimination. And there is the growing threat of the violence and emotional harm that the crap/rap music is doing to our young people, including how the black organizations are not adequately addressing the problem of stopping the downward spiral of our people. But at the end of the day, if we can get our families together using the Bible as the guide, and keep our economic independence together we will be all-right. Today I feel a need to address family relationships, virtuous women and godly men who stand up for doing what’s right. A spirit of cooperation, teamwork, and a united goal will give us a good testimony.

A family’s testimony should be an inspiration to the next generation. My family testimony is that I was a child of a father and mother who were together from teenagers until my father’s death at age 69, after 51 years of marriage. My wife and I married three months after we first dated, now having been married for 42 years, since she was a teenager, and the two of us produced three sons we are very proud of.

Through good times and bad times, we worked as a team. Because of these experiences I have a vision of marriage that I am beginning to believe may be warped, not wrong, but just not the norm by today's standards. I’m glad my marriage was not based on today’s standards.

As a lawyer, I have witnessed many marriages begin and end, and I have observed many couples break up, so I was proud and elated recently by the latest event in the life of one of my sons and his wife, now married for 11 years.

Their testimony goes something like this: A year ago my son came to me and said, "Daddy we are going to sell our house, live in our trailer, and build another home in the same area." I watched as they started the process first of buying a piece of land, sell a beautiful two story home, and eventually move into their small trailer house with their two kids. The idea was that since it would "only take a few months" to build the new home, the four of them could survive in the trailer for that short amount of time. It would be like an extended camping trip. No problem!

Well the problem is that people in the construction field may tell you that it will only take a few months but they know in their hearts that it will take longer. But it sounds good. Well the fact is that we went to see the finished house last week, after a year of living in the trailer. This story is not about a trailer or contractors. This story is about two people who as a team embarked on a journey, met the challenges of everyday life, and as a team got the job done. When they got married, they had started off in their first home which was a converted garage. They were both students and had met at college. They both work and are committed to each other. Today are living in their dream home. And it is a beautiful home on an acre of land which they own.

There are other people who are married who I have observed over the years, and because I had this romantic notion of husband and wife relationships, I believed that their marriage went wrong, it was always the man’s fault. My mother had told my wife otherwise years ago, but I wasn’t listening. Well over the years I have seen families break up where the women were, in my opinion the culprits, doing everything in their power to have things their way at the cost of the total family.

I’ve seen women who won’t work, won’t keep their appearance up, won’t keep their house, and won’t deliver on the two things I have been known to say that are most important to husbands: "Peace and Piece." I won’t elaborate here except to say that the Bible states that it is better to live on a corner of the roof than to live in a house with a nagging woman. It also talks about virtuous women. Those women professing to be virtuous women, just showing up at church doesn’t make you so. I looked at Proverbs 31, and for those who are desiring to be a virtuous woman, there is much work to be done. Read it, and if you believe there is a God, work on it, or stop calling yourself a virtuous woman.

My wife used to have a particular job where she would make home visits. She would come home and tell me that she visited homes and there was not even a place to sit, or the house was so dirty and unkept that she wouldn’t want to sit. Recently, I saw a home like she described, and it turned my stomach to watch a baby crawling on the floor with a pacifier, placing it on the filthy floor as the child crawled and alternately sucking on it. I don’t believe filth and virtuous goes together. Read Proverbs, sister.

We all have the image of a woman at the night club dancing the night away while her children are at home, neglected, hungry and dirty. Well here’s another image. It doesn’t matter whether she is at the club or at church or at work. If she hasn’t done what she needs to do to make sure that her family - her husband, if she has one, and her children are taken care of , she does not need to be out of the house doing anything! I have seen children hungry at school, not because there was no money in the house but because the woman is to occupied or just plain too sorry to buy nutritious food, clean the house, wash the dishes and prepare her family some food.

What is your family testimony? You should not mind sharing it. There is still time to add to your testimony, but don’t delay. Change directions today. And if you are doing what you’re supposed to do, even though you may not be getting the support you need, keep working. You should be proud of your testimony too.