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                                   “I Had My Fun If I Don’t Get Well No More”

This week on August 10, 2011 I turned 70 years old. A friend of mine asked me what I wanted for my birthday.  I really had no answer except to say I would like to be surrounded by my three sons and their families.  It’s a great day because I really have everything I ever wanted or needed. Those who know me know that I am the first male in my family to reach 70. My father died two weeks before he turned 70, and my brother died at 63. I’ve been married to my soul mate for 49 years, and we produced three sons, and they gave us seven grand children to carry on the Hopkins family legacy. At this moment everything is headed in the right direction.

My soul mate and I had our struggles over the years, financial and otherwise. We persevered and dedicated ourselves to our family and we made it to here. We have been blessed to be in business for most of our married life, some failures and some successes.  We have been blessed to travel to the West African countries of Gambia, Senegal and the Ivory Coast, and to European countries of Italy, France, and England. Then there’s been Jamaica, Mexico, and across America. However, there’s no place I’d rather be than at home, and no life I’d rather live than mine. Well, maybe one more trip to Africa, and maybe taking Miss Ruthie back to Paris one more time to shop.

What grieves me is also what makes me happy. Continue reading

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It’s Mother’s Day (5/8/11) and I have a little time before my oldest son and my grandson comes to visit.  I spoke to my youngest son and his wife this morning just after his plane landed from Jerusalem (how exciting).  And I shared yesterday with my middle son and his family. I’m counting my blessings.  I’m a mother and a grandmother.  I’m blessed because God had a plan to allow me to meet these people he has blessed me with in my family.  You see, my mother and both my grandmothers couldn’t.  They all died young when their children were babies. I never got a chance to meet my father’s mother.  She died when my father was a baby.  I never got a chance to meet my mother’s mother because she died when my mother was a baby.  And I never got the chance to know my mother who died when I was just 2 years old.  I can’t imagine who in the world would have raised my children if I had died. 

God provided.  He gave others to be mothers to me.  Some of the others include, Mama Flintroy who cared for me from the time my mother died until she, herself, died.  I was 10 years old.  Mama Flintroy was my great aunt, and she had raised my mother when her mother (my grandmother and Mama Flintroy’s sister) died.  Mama Flintroy was childless. God had strategically placed her in my mother’s life and in my life to step in and raise children that were not her own.  I felt so loved by her until I don’t ever recall feeling like a motherless child.  I’d like to think my mother also felt that love. I was a happy, pampered child.  I thank God for showing me love through Mama Flintroy. 

When she died, Mama (my stepmother) stepped in.  She loved children and took me and my brother to raise as her own children.  She was my role model during my pre-teen and teenage years. From her, I learned about being a homemaker.  She gave me household chores.  I learned how to  clean, wash clothes and cook. I learned the importance of being responsible by getting a job and contributing to the household funds.  She also taught me the value of keeping myself looking as good as I could at all times and would never take my excuse for being lazy. Because she was a beautician, I always wore the latest hairstyles.  I thank God for her because she showed me how to dress, act and carry myself like a young lady.

After I married, my mother-in-law, Christine Hopkins, was a wonderful role model as a mother and grandmother.  I was always interested in Continue reading

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This year’s “State of Black Pasadena” [Pasadena Journal,  [April 28, 2011] garnered a few interesting responses. One reader saw me at the Bank and said thanks for printing some facts that even she didn’t know about. By far, the strangest reaction was a call I got from someone who watched the May School Board meeting. The caller told me that a Latina named Ms. Soule went to the microphone during the public response and derided the new School Board, President Renatta Cooper, for writing an article for The Journal’s State of Black Pasadena issue. Soule, according to the caller, was acting on instructions from School Board member Continue reading

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It’s  4:30 a.m. I am sitting down at my computer. I slept well last night, after hearing on the news that the President is okay. I have said my prayers, made my coffee and toast and done my fifty push ups. I owe my body at least twenty sit ups. My readings for the day are a couple of poems and a book that I have started. It’s all part of what I learned as a child at church in that scripture that says to study to show yourself approved. Today, to me that scripture means to listen to the preacher, remember he’s just a man, and study the word for myself.  Also, if I don’t get to church at least get to Sunday School but remember that my first teacher was still mama. My Mama taught me to read, talk, and walk. She also taught me that there’s another church a block away, and if my needs are not being taken care of where I am, don’t forget how to walk the next church.

My devotional reading for this morning is a book called, Jesus CEO, by Laurie Beth Jones.  Its main theme is that Jesus Christ was an entrepreneur and he did the difficult things, to quote one chapter that refers to Isaiah 50:7. There, in spite of a warning from Peter not to go to Jerusalem because he thought it was dangerous, Jesus went anyway. The mark of a true leader is that you are willing to stand alone when you believe that you are doing the will of God and you know it is part of a larger plan.

I know a little about standing alone and understanding a larger plan, even though sometimes I don’t know the outcome, before it comes. The book by Jones, reminds us that Jesus took twelve humans and changed the world. He changed it so much that time is measured as before his birth (BC), and after his death (AD). The question for each of us is what are we willing to do to change our little part of the world?   Continue reading

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Most of us know the Bible scripture where Jesus asked his disciples, “But who do you say I am,” when reporting to him what others said about him. (Mark 8:27-33)   Jesus praised them because they (Peter) answered correctly.  I recently attended the birthday celebration of a friend which included a Rose Tribute.  We each were given the opportunity to go up and say something about her and place a single stem rose in a vase.  There were many tributes and accolades given which painted a description of who she was as a friend, the life she led, the people she touched, the work she’d done, and her attitude, her words, likes and dislikes.  Anyone who did not know her got a complete picture of who she is, based on the different aspects people shared about her.  Likewise, those of us knowing only one aspect of her found out many new interesting facts that we didn’t know about her before.  Continue reading

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The older I get, the more my eyes are opened.  Literally, I see how some of my sisters look and dress.  I was at a public function recently and noticed the ladies, mostly the younger ones, dressed in skimpy, revealing clothes.  This is not new.  Women have been dressing this way before my generation, during my generation, and will likely continue to do so in future generations.  Yes, I had my fun too, but I was shame whenever Big Mama saw me (Lord forgive me!). We all thought in our teens, twenties and thirties that that’s the way you dressed to feel womanly, sexy, and to attract men.  Well, let me offer you some tough love.  Today, it’s worse.  Not only are some of you scantly dressed, you look downright nasty with tattoos and piercings all over your fat, sloppy-looking bodies which you seem to show off with pride by wearing those tight, short t-shirts and skirts revealing rows and rows of fat.  It doesn’t look pretty. Your generation seems to have no home training, at least not enough to be shame in public or even in church with your cleavage showing, navel exposed or wearing leggings only.  And I’ve noticed that some of your mothers even dress like you with skirts and splits up to the ‘ying yang’. No wonder you dress like you do. They are in no position to be a role model to you when they’re trying to compete with you (trying to be young). Continue reading

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An article in the April 15, 2011 issue of The New York Times, entitled, “For many bachelors in China, no Property means, no dates.”  It talked about young women who won’t date men unless they own property. I couldn’t help but think that if I had a daughter, I would like that rule. Why should a girl spend her time with someone who has nothing to offer except his sperm donation? Continue reading

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When I opened a local Black news magazine that has a religious focus (Focus On The Word – April, 2011 edition), I became almost nauseated by seeing an article called, “Feud between Bill Cosby and Russell Simmons Heats Up.”  In a word, there is no contest between Bill Cosby and the thug producer Russell Simmons.  In the same paper I saw an article praising the gangster rapper who got rich calling Black folks the N word and Black women b**ches and whor*s.  Is it any wonder that Black America is raising a generation of gangsters and thugs and fatherless children?

A few years ago I interviewed a young lawyer and asked her what made her want to become a lawyer. She said, “Watching the Huxtables on The Cosby Show and seeing Claire Huxtable as a Lawyer.” There are probably a bunch of doctors and lawyers out there who were exposed to the Cosby television family and became somebody they were exposed to on the famous show.  On the other hand Russell Simmons has inspired young Black males to become a generation of gangsters and thugs. Simmons and the gangster Rap industry have exposed young Black males to the impression that they can become rich and famous by becoming gangsters and thugs. How Sad! Continue reading

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I was speaking to a young woman recently about male-female relationships and commitment.  She said to me, “I and my friends are accomplished, we have our own careers, we are making it okay, we handle our business and pay our bills, buy houses, and deal with repairmen and mechanics and take care of ourselves just fine.  We don’t really need a man…. Why do we need a man?” Continue reading

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We’ve heard that charity begins at home and spreads abroad.  I believe that includes at home where you live, your church, your work, your town, your state, your country… and then elsewhere, abroad. 

A good example of this is when the flight attendants on an airplane says, “When putting on your oxygen mask, put yours on first and then on your child.  Logic says that makes perfectly good sense, because how can you help anyone else if you’re not adequately taken cared of?  Following this logic, Continue reading

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