As far back as I can remember, every time I would leave the house, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage would say, "Be careful. Drive safely."
It’s as though she doesn’t think I could drive carefully without giving me some instructions. I think it has become just a routine for her.
Although I've not had many accidents, they still are accidents. Although most of them were not my fault, I still got blamed.
"Well," my wife explained to me, "you were the one behind the wheel, so it has to be your responsibility. You should know how to control your car."
Every year when it comes time to renew our insurance, she reminds me, "Don't forget to renew our insurance because you just might need it this coming year."
My wife had various places to go last Thursday, which is a normal thing for her. She's always busy, particularly visiting thrift stores.
One thing about my wife is that she does not like insects.
As she was driving, she felt something on her leg. She simply shook it off and kept driving. She is always a very well focused person, and she was entirely focused on getting to her next destination. All the while, something seemed to be crawling up her leg.
Then she stopped at a red light. There was a car in front of her which she didn't pay much attention to. While she was stopped, she thought she would look into what was crawling up her leg.
Her foot was on the brake pedal, and as she looked down, she saw a bug crawling up her leg, which threw her into a frenzy. She jumped, her foot got off of the brake pedal, and she reached down to grab the bug and throw it out the window.
As she did this, her car lunged forward and hit the back of the car in front of her.
Officially, this was an accident. She got out, and the man in the car in front of her get out, and they looked at the damage, fortunately, there was very little damage. They exchange insurance cards and names, and so forth.
Then she went home. I was already home, and as she came in the door, her cell phone rang, and it was our insurance company. I sat there, overhearing all the information about her "accident."
She hung up the phone, looked at me, and said, "It wasn't my fault. It was that stinking bug's fault."
"But," I said as soberly as possible, "weren't you behind the wheel?"
She just looked at me with both hands on her hips and then turned around and walked away.
Nobody was hurt, not even the vehicles themselves. But it was an “accident.”
The next morning she had to go somewhere else, and as she opened the door, I said to her very carefully, “Be safe. Drive carefully.”
She looked back at me and said, “Very funny.”
It's so wonderful to have the upper hand finally.
As she closed the door behind her, I chuckled and then thought of a Scripture verse. "Therefore all things whatsoever you would that men should do to you, do you even so to them: for this is the law and the prophets" (Matthew 7:12). One thing I have learned in life is to be careful what you allow to bug you.
[Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, Ocala, FL 34472, where he lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage. Call him at 352-216-3025 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.]