I am old enough to remember those days when there was nothing like cell phones. Oh, those quiet, golden silent days. At the time, I did not realize just how wonderful that time was.
I well remember the day I bought my fi rst cell phone. I hesitated because I enjoyed my quiet time. However, the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage was enthusiastic about getting cell phones.
All went well for the fi rst couple of years. Then, a new phenomenon developed. My cell phone was ringing all the time. Most of the time, from some silly old telemarketer trying to sell me something I didn’t need and certainly didn’t want.
I then had an idea. I know it is not often I have an idea, but when I do, boy, is it an idea. When they asked me how I am, I tell them in all the monotonous detail I can think of at the time. I go on and on how bad my day is and how terrible life feels. Then there is that familiar "click," and they've hung up on me.
After all, they asked how I was doing, and I was simply responding to their question.
I am not multilingual, but I can speak gibberish better than anybody I know. At least, that’s what my wife tells me. So, if I have this talent, why not use it?
The first time I used this gibberish language, the person on the other end said, "Speak English, please." To which I continued with my gibberish. They repeat their request, and I continue with my gibberish. Finally, there comes that familiar sound I look forward to, "Click."
One call was for pain in my body. Someone sent in my name, reporting that I had pain in my body, and they had a medicine that could help me with all my pain.
“Where do you have pain in your body?”
“Well,” I said as seriously as possible, “I have this terrific pain in my neck.”
This information excited the telemarketer, and he wanted to know how I got this pain and where it came from. To which I said, "My pain in the neck comes from people like you calling me every day."
I look forward to those calls.
Then, the other day I got a strange call on my cell phone. I looked to see who was calling, and to my surprise, it was me. It was my name and phone number that showed up on my cell phone screen. I was calling myself.
I cannot tell you how anxious I was to talk to myself. I was going to give myself a piece of my mind. Of course, it would be good to talk to myself about certain things.
So, I answered the phone. “Hello, Pastor Snyder, how in the world are you?”
To my great disappointment, it was not me calling me. Rather, it was some telemarketer wanting to know how much my electric bill was each month.
I remember what David said, and he did not have a cell phone. "Because he hath inclined his ear unto me, therefore will I call upon him as long as I live” (Psalm 116:2).
I do not need a cell phone to call God because I have put my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, and I now am connected with God.
Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, 1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352- 687-4240 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.