I must admit I don't get away with very much, and I never have. It's not that I never try. It's just that whenever I try to get away with something, it always backfires.
Every time I do something behind the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage's back, she always turns around. I don't know if she has eyes in the back of her head or if it's just women's intuition. Believe me, I will not investigate this subject.
The many times she has fooled me is beyond calculation. I am probably the easiest person to fool in all the world. A salesman, I am not.
If you can’t put one over on me, you might as well hang up your boots and go to bed.
During this "in-house season," the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage put me on a diet. What am I to do?
All the cookies have been eradicated from our premises. Believe me, I've searched everywhere and I have not found one cookie crumb.
She made a mistake the other day. As we were sitting down to watch a little TV, she brought over one cookie and said, "Since you have been good with your diet, here is your reward."
I wish she would not have done that. Once I start something, I have an obsession with completing it. And believe me, when I say, one cookie doesn't complete the obsession.
I smiled and thanked her and graciously munched on the cookie.
That gave me an idea, I had to pass a little store the next day, and they sold cookies. I thought to myself, "Well, what's another cookie going to do to hurt me?"
I only bought one little bag of cookies; that's how disciplined I am. I thought one little bag could easily be hidden. At least that's what I thought.
When I got home, my wife was not there yet, so it allowed me time to conceal my little cookie obsession. I concealed it near my easy chair, so I could access it without her knowing it.
I love it when a plan comes together.
I forgot about the bag of cookies because days can get hectic. After supper, we sat down in the living room to relax and enjoy just a little TV. It suddenly dawned on me that I had a little stash of cookies underneath my chair. The more I thought of it, the more I thought of it.
During a commercial, my wife got up to go to the bathroom, so I thought this would be a great time to sneak a cookie.
I reached under my chair to grab the bag of cookies, and I couldn't find it. I searched and searched and searched, and it wasn't there. I started to scratch my head and wonder where I put it.
Then my wife came into the room and said, "You weren't looking for this, were you?"
In her hand was the bag of cookies I hid under my chair.
Wearing a little grin on my face, I thought of a verse of Scripture, "But if ye will not do so, behold, ye have sinned against the Lord: and be sure your sin will find you out” (Numbers 32:23).
Try as we might, our sin will finally catch up with us.
[Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with the Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage in Silver Springs Shores. Call him at 352-216-3025 or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com.]