Many things about me could be called into question, and a lot has. I get that. However, the most attractive thing about me is my nose. I am not sure of the reason why, it looks like anybody else’s nose.
My nose, however, attracts everything around it, from dust to pollen and other unmentionables. If there is something not attracted to my nose I haven’t found it yet.
This past week has been no exception. If it was in the air, it was in my nose. I do not know why my nose is so attractive to things, but there it is. I am the one that suffers the consequences of that attractive nose of mine. To be very certain, I did not pick my nose, it came with my face.
One mystery surrounds my sneezing. When I start sneezing, it has to be at least three sneezes. Why three? You’ll have to ask my nose about that. It never fails; my sneeze is a consistent triplet activity.
Coming into the house the other day, I stopped and started one of those sneezing fi ts. The Gracious Mistress of the Parsonage said, "Why didn't you sneeze outside before you came into the house?"
I only know three seconds after I sneeze that I am going to sneeze. That creates many problems with me during this time of the year.
Is there such a thing as a sneezeologist? I sure would like to get some counsel on how to control my sneezing. Somebody needs to be an expert on sneezing. Sure, I am an expert on sneezing, but not on how to quit sneezing. That is my biggest problem.
Every Sunday, I am so frightened that in the middle of my sermon I am going to have a sneezing fi t. Nothing could clear the church quicker than one of my sneezing fi ts to be sure.
After one of my sneezing fi ts, I wondered if there is such a thing as a sneezing contest. If there is, I am sure I could come very close to taking home the trophy.
I once asked my wife, “Do you think that sneezing is an exercise?” Looking at me, she said rather soberly, “Well, it’s an exercise on my patience.”
I am not sure if that was a positive answer or not. Although I am skeptical, I did not want to ask and fi nd out for certain. I exercised my right to keep my mouth shut.
My wife and I went out to eat dinner the other night, and the restaurant was rather crowded. Everything was going quite excellent, we ordered and the waitress went to process our order, and we enjoyed our time together.
Then it happened. I did a very loud triple sneeze heard all through the restaurant.
“Thanks,” my wife said very quietly, “for all the attention our way.”
I looked around, the people were looking at me, and I could not see anyone smiling. I was afraid to smile back at anybody. I was tempted to explain what happened, but I thought otherwise.
I then thought of what Solomon once said. “Even a fool, when he holdeth his peace, is counted wise: and he that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding” (Proverbs 17:28).
I may not be able to control my sneezes, but I think with a great deal of work and concentration, I can keep my mouth shut when necessary.
Dr. James L. Snyder is pastor of the Family of God Fellowship,
1471 Pine Road, Ocala, FL 34472. He lives with his wife in Silver Springs Shores.
Call him at 352- 687-4240 or e-mail jamessnyder2@ att.net.
The church web site is www.whatafellowship.com